#ElifIremAz
five poems and one intermission from The Black Shape of Living
by e. irem az
Please download the PDF to read the poems without losing their form.
PLACE
Soma Coal Basin, Manisa, Turkey
written in İstanbul, Turkey, and Boston, Massachusetts
TIME
2014 – 2024
NOTES
What is contained within and what extends beyond these five poems has been spoken by my interlocutors, some of whom are friends who live or once lived in the Soma Basin of western Turkey. The events in these ethnographic-documentary poems have transpired, the ambient facts within them are still out there, and all that is contained has been perceived by me between 2014 and 2021. Each poem begins on a white page with black shapes, often letters.
I lived in Soma between 2018 and 2019, a few years after the events of May 13, 2014. Now known as the "deadliest industrial disaster in modern Turkish history" and locally referred to as "301," the Soma mine disaster began on that day. An explosion in the Eynez underground lignite coal mine caused an underground fire that blocked the exit, leading to the deaths of 301 miners from carbon monoxide poisoning. As of 2024, the disaster is still ongoing.
These poems are revised and translated versions of five poems that first appeared in Sade Yaşadığımız [Our Sheer Living], my poetry collection in Turkish, published by Nod Publishing in December 2020. I made Sade Yaşadığımız using techniques of cut-up and montage, which some call bricolage. Sade Yaşadığımız did not include any notes, sentences, words, letters, or other black or white shapes created solely by me. This excerpt from my in-progress manuscript in English, The Black Shape of Living, does.
almost
There’s something in you,
said the workplace doctor,not even looking me in the eye.sent me to İzmir
for an occupational disease assessment.COPD came up,and without me even seeing the report,the company let me go.who knows how many people have this illness.the hospital doesn’t give that number to anyone,but an immediate notice goes to the company.there is no such thing as being let go after getting diagnosed with an occupational illness.the company made me sign a piece of paper,saying i wanted to quit due to absenteeism,to avoid harming the work place,they said,or else i wouldn’t get my severance pay.because,sister,if you don’t sign,the company says you disrupted workplace order,or went against your supervisor,and that’s why you were let go.it’s the private sector,no claiming any rights.if you leave on our terms,they say,we’ll pay your severance.when i was getting my exit paperwork at the personnel manager’s desk there was maybe a hundred yellow files piled up.i asked if those files were the same,almost,he said,those are also for people leaving.my lungs are almost gone gone,in two or three months my voice will start to fade,that’s how it goes—
i know from
a friend.
an old toothbrush
we talk about the very dirty laundry they bring home from work
sometimes we can’t throw it in the machines we complain—
take my husband for example
he sweats a lot
he sweats and the coal sticks
and tossing his work clothes in the machine breaks the machine
because the clothes end up with tiny pieces of coal
so we're forced to wash them like a carpet on the floor
whether it’s winter or snowing we have to do it outside
those with gardens do it in the garden
if not
in the bathroom at home but then
you must clean the bathroom afterward
because the water runs completely black as if
you’ve held water inside a stove pipe = that’s the kind of black
it’s like washing out a coal cellar muddy
muddy black mud
we share these stories among ourselves
today one said her husband collected so many sets of work clothes in a bag
over a few weeks and brought them home all at once
she said she froze outside washing them all
mine sweats way too much
brings home a flood
squeeze it just so and it flows like water that sweat
and then there’s this foul smell because of the gases in the mine
you pull it out of the bag and that stink hits you
suddenly it’s all so wet
like I said
squeeze it and it’s like sweat pouring out as water
First you have to do a rough cleaning of the muck
those chunks of coal
especially from those pockets
they really pile up at the seams
so we need to flush it out with a carpet brush
before tossing the clothes in the machine
of course it’s different underground and different once they come up
when they come up from underground they’re soaked
like water sprayed from a hose
they take a shower down there
after work
they have their own lockers
then they put on their abovegroundclothes
and head home in those
they collect the clothes they wore underground in a bag in their lockers
at the end of the week they bring them home all together
otherwise
if they brought one set every day I’d have to do this process every day
the machine would need to run every single day
so we take care of everything once a week
but that means they come home after sitting for a while
that’s why you need to let them drain outside for almost an hour
I for example first press them into a basin to let them soak
then I fluff them up so that they drain much more easily
then
at last
they go into the machine
some miners they take down Jackets too you know—
so they don’t get cold right as they come up from underground—
there are Jackets Vests and then five pairs of Pants five T-shirts
they have Gloves too
another pair every day
there are Bath Towels as well
they gather it all up and bring everything home to be washed
during the weekly two-day break
we wash
dry
and pack them all back into bags
then they take them all back
to work
every now and then Boots come in too
washing those Boots is a real hassle—
your hand can’t fit in
Boots oh those Boots
we can’t toss them in the machine
they are filled up with pitch-black coal
and because their feet sweat it gets muddy inside the boots
socks turn into felt
you can’t get your hand or a brush into the inside toes
what I do is grab an old toothbrush
and scrub the inside toes with that
I stick the toothbrush inside
also pouring in domestos and such
well of course the Boots need to get white again
because they end up pitch black
the inside is in fact cream-colored the outside yellow
but that cream turns completely black
washing the sides is easy but those tips
they're really tough
the heel part is okay
but washing the part after the ankle is a nightmare
your hand won’t fit even with a brush it doesn’t go in
that’s why it’s all about old toothbrushes domestos detergents
since we can’t toss the boots in the machine we take Extra Care
then we flip them upside down to drain let them sit for a bit
after that by the stove we lay down a newspaper
put the Boots on top and let them dry
the mine where my husband works is really hot
they wear Helmets and Helmets cause rashes
The Helmet leaves its mark and burns
now and then we apply some ointment for chafing
The Gloves can go in the machine—
the fingertips are nylon
I mean they’re cotton covered with yellow or orange nylon—
we brush off the blackness inside the fingertips
with another old toothbrush
and toss the Gloves in the machine
and then
ah
it’s all done
time to make a coffee
***
After everything begins in the boundless, shapeless black
that is neither a source of resource
nor necessarily the dormant seed of human ability,
once there is a white shape forming, begins the work
of maintaining, cleaning, feeding, keeping alive, keeping alight, and again
and again and again and
until it’s all back in black again
and again
and again
and
again
and
***
if you ask me
Mine tells me
The bosses pocketed some 3,000 people’s layoff payments
we gonna get them all back
Revolution doesn’t just happen easily like that!
Well, the whole time, his wife has been sick
Bent double each day in the fields
Busting her ass for 65-70 liras per day
She’s supposed to go to the hospital but she can’t
No car
Can’t reach public transit
What’s easy? You tell me
look at me
Revolution starts at home, love,
that’s how it is—if you ask me.
hypomania
for one thing, there is the burnout.
it is a taxing profession,
and comes with significant anxiety.
the most common are
anxiety disorder and depression.
most miners are in debt.
they are really not different
from other groups of people.
these issues are frequently observed,
and they are more pronounced among miners.
shift work can lead to some
strange effects.
(I don’t know if you have doctors or nurses
in your circle who work on call)
after they clock out, you will struggle to recognize them:
they become cheerier and more talkative than ever,
some make inappropriate jokes,
the sexual undertones in their humor increase.
all that is because
insomnia leads to hypomania,
the light, too, contributes to this,
and it happens with miners too.
going to a psychiatrist
is one of the biggest issues.
those who seek psychiatric help are
usually
dismissed by the workplace physicians
and are not allowed back down into the mine.
that is, their contracts are terminated.
people don’t want to lose their jobs,
especially those who are migrants from other regions
who can’t afford to take any risks.
of course, many workers believe
they are paid well
since 301.
it is something like double the minimum wage—
do not misunderstand me,
I don’t think miners are getting high pay:
wages are very low.
Soma miners are better off only relatively
compared to the past—
now, when they have some money,
our dear miner brothers
prefer to visit bars
for their psychiatric troubles.
this a major issue.
mostly men have
serious extramarital affairs.
both those committing it and those enduring it
share their burdens
with doctors.
they talk, they relax, and then they go.
you know, in Islam, there is no priesthood,
you cannot confess your sins.
the role of psychiatrists
becomes a bit like that of a priest.
LOS
now what’s the one thing that worries people
losing their job
you won’t find any other question marks
in miners’ heads
the miner isn’t even afraid of dying
you know I’m serious
normally when you enter listen to
the mouth of the mine you’ll understand
everyone prays and looks behind them
as if it’s the last time they’ll see the light of day
but that’s not fear:
the fear of losing your job
it drowned everything else out
one wrong move & you’re out of a job
that stresses you out so much down there—
after a certain point you lose it—
why do we have accidents every day, everywhere
why do we walk like accidents
that’s why
the employer does this, or the state,
or someone else
believe me if it weren’t for this
miners wouldn’t become accidented
besides, after the disaster
the salary increase pushed folks to—
before they’d be getting 1,500 liras, there were 5 mines
if I’m kicked out here I’ll go to another one, they figured
now even the MP can’t get you a mining job
if I’m kicked out I’m done for, the guy says
—after they raised the salaries everyone bought a house, or a car
went into debt/sank even deeper into fear
5,643 people work at our company
I’ll bet you 5,000 of them
are scared = are in debt
when the salaries rose like that people lost it
we lost it, plain & simple
that’s how they got us to forget the 301 lives here
only ones who didn’t forget are the families of the dead
there’s some who say that the families got a lot of money and forgot and—
how should I put it—that this incident benefited them
they got a ridiculous amount of money, a ridiculous amount
but whoever says they benefited is wrong
money changes a person, it really does
can you not want stuff, can you
maybe there are also some who forgot the ones they lost
sure, but we lose ourselves each day
*In 2021, my friend, anthropologist Alex Kreger, and I made a direct translation of the poems “if you ask me,” “LOS,” and three other poems that are not featured in this selection. Since then, I have significantly rewritten both poems. However, I am very grateful to Alex for his effort and encouragement.
*In 2018, the average exchange rate of USD to TRY (U.S. Dollar to Turkish Lira) was approximately 4.85 TRY per 1 USD. In 2019, the average exchange rate was approximately 5.67 TRY per 1 USD.
Thus, in the spring of 2019, when I interviewed Döndü Abla, whose words and insights constitute the poem titled “if you ask me,” the daily wage for predominantly informal and highly feminized agricultural labor in the Basin was approximately 13.40–14.43 USD.
In the poem titled “LOS,” I quote my miner interlocutor, who reflected on the difference between the wages of low-level miners before and after the Soma mine disaster, as wages were increased to double the minimum wage due to protests held by miners, family members, and their supporters. In the poem, he states that, before the disaster, the wages of low-level workers were approximately 1,500 TRY, which equals about 264.55 USD according to the average exchange rate for 2019.